Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
