She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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