so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
