and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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