why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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