Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
