My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She even gives head with a lisp.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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