woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.