I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.