You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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