im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper