I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
