It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
