Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
