And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
