so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
