Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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