He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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