Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
