Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Sorry about my life...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
