I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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