I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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