Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
