Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
