69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
