may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
