She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
