You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
