tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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