If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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