so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
