I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
