I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he thought i was a dude.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
