I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
