It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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