Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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