then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
