Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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