It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
be right there i have to get my cape
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
