GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
