Your tits are I can't wait for
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
