Whod you bang
i just google imaged poop.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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