i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
