come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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