I saw his package. It spoke to me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
