Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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