Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sorry my hands just texted you
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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