I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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