I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
