Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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