I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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