Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
