Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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