My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
