I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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