Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
try to milk me bitch
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize