She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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