Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
