You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
