I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
