i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
